When I answered one of the questions in the last tag on what do I hate about myself, I forgot to say that I hate it when I am easily become stressed up and grumpy when things are not in order or not running as planned. Last night it happened again and I still hate myself for allowing it to happen.
Two days ago cik HB told me that he got free coupons to watch movie at the newly opened GSC in Dataran Pahlawan and asked me whether I wanted to go. Of course I wanted to go, it's free and I wanted to watch Narnia: Prince Caspian so badly. So we planned to go last night. When I arrived home after work, I was already in bad mood coz I had entertained my most-impossible-boss who made me stayed back 45 minutes late just to do some editing on not-so-urgent letter.
I reached home at 7pm and as we wanted to catch the movie at 9.15 pm, and driving to Bandar Hilir will take 1/2 hour from our place, I had to rush doing everything. I hate being in rush! I asked cik HB whether is it worth to go, thinking as the movies were free, there would be a huge crowd with everybody wanting to get a ticket. He said no need to worry, there were so many movies and if Narnia is already full house, we could watch another movie.
By the time we reached Dataran Pahlawan, it was 8.40 pm and finding a parking lot was challenging. And I started being angry. Then we managed to get a parking lot but walking to the cinema was another thing. Cik HB insisted to use lift and I insisted we use the escalator. First, finding the lift is time consuming and second I was sure there would be a lot of people wanting to use the lift as well. He won, we went around looking for lift and as expected a lot of people waiting at the lift. After a while waiting (the lift didn't even stop at the floor), finally he agreed we use the escalator. And I started being grumpy and walking so fast, dragging Nabihah with me (I'm such a bad mother, huh?)
When we reached the cinema, there were a huge crowd at the floor and all digital display showed all movies were full-house. Well, it was free...what were we thinking? If it's free, means you have to fight for the ticket la, what else? It's either you go early to get the ticket or go much earlier during the day. Even the Chinese elderly crowded the place. I can tell you, these elderly were as old as 80, yet they were willing to join the crowds for free movie.
I was disappointed, not just because I couldn't watch the movie but because I was stupid enough to consider going to watch it. Didn't I know that it will be this way? Back in KL, even when I was single, when there were freebies like free movie, say for example you just have to bring the cut-out coupon from newspaper and get the free ticket, I wouldn't go. Because I knew it wasn't worth the time I had to spent on queuing up.
And I felt like blaming my dear husband for bringing up this idea and for not being able to analyze the situation (ya, the bad me for just wanting to blame him). Then I wanted to go home straight but he still wanted to do some window shopping. And I started boiling inside. Then paying for the parking lot was another story. The queue was long (cik HB queued) and some idiots had the nerves to jump queue. I could see cik HB's face changed (reddened, not green, ok! if you think of Incredible Hulk...hahaha) . When it was his turn, the machine rejected his money and he called me to ask for small change. I, with hand full holding the children's drinks, jackets and controlling the children from running around, just passed him my hand bag and asked him to look for the money himself.
And when we were in the car, he nagged me for giving the handbag, not giving the money straight. He said people at his back was making noise because he was taking time at the machine. I was really boiling up and snapped at him. And he snapped back at me. Then in the midst of tense, Nabihah who was standing at the middle of our seat, suddenly threw up, a smelly content of milo and orange juice which she drank earlier. We had no time to stop, so I shielded myself and the jackets I wanted to prevent the vomit from splashing onto the car seat. And made me more stressful, of course and felt like crying. I was so quiet then, entertaining my own anger ( I think being quite is better when I'm angry cause I don't want to say things that I would probably regret later).
Back home, I went straight to the toilet, and got a bath, washed the dirty clothes. But I was still grumpy and felt angry. The truth is, I didn't even know what was it actually that I was angry for. Was it for not getting to watch the movie? HB's nagging on the parking fee issue? Nabihah vomited on me? Or was I tired, I blamed it on everything?
One good thing about me being angry, is I would channel the anger by doing housework. So with my sulking face, I ignored cik HB, then dumped the dirty clothes into the washing machine, cleaned the kitchen (I even scrub the sink, mind you!) and folded the washed clothes that was left piling up in the spare room. I finally went to sleep at 1 a.m.
When I was drifting to sleep, cik HB came talking to me to make up. He always leaves me alone when I'm grumpy or angry, then he would make up with me. He said "kita jadi bodoh sbb wayang bodoh". I was still grumpy, so I didn't say anything.
Yes, it's true....why because of that stupid movie offer, did we put ourself in this tensed situation? Why must a married couple get into a fight because of something not worth for?
Setan2 mesti bersorak sbb satu laki-bini sudah bergaduh! Somemore because nak tgk wayang punya pasal. Sebelum tidur aku muhasabah diri dan fikir kenapa la free2 aku buat dosa ngan somi.
This morning as usual before I left to work, I kissed his hand and managed to bring myself to apologize for my attitude last night ( susah nak minta maaf sebenarnya). But after that, I felt better.
Well, what I'm sharing here is not to "buka pekung didada" thingy. I'm sure this kind of disagreement between husband and wife happens in every couple. It's just that I want myself and married couple out there to realize that to live in a happy marriage, elements like patience, loving, forgiving are important.
Married people, let's work towards happy marriage, ok!
And don't be grumpy, it's not good for health and makes you grow older faster ( a reminder for me as well!!)
Oh! By the way, any idea how I can get rid the bad smell of the vomit? I sprayed the Feebreeze already and drove this morning with opened window and no air-cond. But it still so smelly...what to do la?
