3rd Sad Time

Dah bape kali attempt nak siapkan entry yg satu ni. Entry yang ditulis masa tengah MC tapi tak abis2...ari ni dah start keje balik..memandangkan entry ni dah ditaip quite panjang berjela, maka teruskan saja la ye....
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Few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. Although I was on 'family-planning' mode, we were ecstatic about the news and thought that it was just the right time since Insyirah pon dah lebih 2 tahun.

But I decided to keep the news just among family members and some close friends because nak tunggu kandungan betul2 stable. Dah 2 kali miscarried, one back in 2009 and one in 2013, so memamg agak trauma bila mengandung kali ini.

I was busy jugak at the time, you know la with new job at what nots,  so at 7 weeks, baru ke klinik utk confirmkan pregnancy.Prior to that saya tertanya2 jugak why morning sickness tak muncul tiba walaupun sudah 7 weeks sbb selalunya minggu ke-5, simptom2 mengandung mesti dah datang dengan jayanya. Cuma ada rasa kepenatan dan lapar sentiasa aje la.

The moment doktor scan, she said no heart beat detected and saya sudah terdetik something is not right. Tapi doktor kata mungkin kandungan kecil lagi so kita tunggu lagi 2 minggu dan scan semula. I was down tapi tak berhenti berharap. 

After 2 minggu, scan semula and obviously it's a blighted ovum condition. 

Kantung kosong - no baby :((((.

I was supposed to refer my case to hospital. But I was hoping tak perlu lagi buat D&C sbb this gonna be  the 3rd D&C. I read repeated D&Cs might cause trauma to the womb and may cause complications with the next pregnancy. So saya tangguhkan dulu ke hospital and ingat nak seek 2nd opinion with another doctor. Kot2 boleh melalui proses keguguran biasa. 

Tapi 2 weeks after that, saya start getting blood spots for a day or two dan lepas tu heavy bleeding with painful contractions. Masa tu baru rushed to the hospital and went thru all check-ups dan mcm2, and after few hours disahkan complete miscarriage. Dah scan, dan nampaknya semua dah keluar habis, so doktor kata x perlu la d&c.

Cuma still perlu warded untuk tempoh sekurang2nya 24jam utk pastikan semuanya betul2 ok.

Alhamdulilah takde apa2 complications, saya pon dah terasa sihat. Now on long MC, dapat MC 10 hari yo!

Walaupun hati terasa sedih kandungan yang ini juga tidak berjaya, pujuk la hati utk redha. Mungkin ada sesuatu yg lain Allah nak bagi kan? Mudah2an ada rezeki kami lain kali nak tambah anak.

The first scan image...simpan la buat kenangan. This shud be our 6th child....