Babysitter - Part 1

A friend of mine had forwarded a link of this blog. A sad story about the death of a baby.....under the hand of her babysitter. She was reported dead due pneumonia (sorry if I get this term wrong) to which later found to be incorrect and the actual reason is not known yet and the case is now under police's investigation. The babysitter is suspected hiding things on whatever had happened to the baby on the day of her death.

As I read the whole blog, it saddened me on the attitude of the babysitter (of course, the story is on one side only, we do not know what the babysitter would say about the tragedy and all the back dated stories of her babysitting the baby).

It reminds me how lucky I was to have a good babysitter for my twins when I stayed in KL.

The issue of child care for my babies had started bugging me while I was still pregnant. I had asked around about getting good babysitter, but until I've came into full term , I still couldn't get one. There were several babysitters in the list but these babysitters were already having several kids under their care. I had considered sending my babies to nursery but that was also not very good choice. We were also thinking of hiring maid.

There was this lady ( let's name her as K) who lived in the same block with me and she babysat children. Initially I was thinking to ask her to babysit my babies, but looking at her character (I know it is not right judging her by the way she dressed up, but I couldn't help it) , I just didn't feel like to. Besides, since I used to go home during lunch hour, I always heard she shouted to the children she cared for and the children always cried. So I decided not to. Luckily I'm not the talking type so I rarely talked to her. Once in a while when we bumped into each other, I only smiled to her.


By the end of my maternity leave, I still didn't have a solution for my twins's childcare. A week before I started working, I came back to KL with the hope that I would get a babysitter. Then, we received a visit from this elderly couple who live in my block and I mentioned about my situation and I said (since I was desperate) I was going to ask Kak G to babysit my twins. The couple gave us odd looks and said 'please don't do it first'. They said she already babysat many children so it's better to get someone else. The next day, the couple came back and recommended a lady (Kak K) who lived in another block to be my babysitter. He said he already called the lady and asked us to meet her.

And we did. But before that cik HB and I had discussed that we only send one baby first to see how things were and one baby would be sent back to my hometown, to be cared by my mother. The reasons were:

1) We didn't really know this babysitter, for one baby to be cared by her was already worrying enough, what with two babies. Call me fussy, but I've heard a lot of horrible stories when it comes to babysitters.

2) My hometown is just about 45 minutes drive from KL. We could go back everyweekend and switch the babies. So it wasn't that bad.

3) We too, were not confident enough that we would be able to care for both of them at home with no extra help. And with the nature of our job that required us to stay back sometimes, I was afraid that things would be

Kak K agreed to babysit my baby. And she wasn't even question why we only send one baby.

So we went on with the arrangement, one baby with us in KL for a week, and another baby with my mother. Friday evening, right after office hour, we would drive back to my hometown and by Sunday night brought the other baby back to KL.

It wasn't easy for us. Especially when I was still breastfeeding (but not exclusively) both of them. At first I wanted to wean them from breast feeding as I thought it will not possible to keep them breastfeeding with this arrangement. But my mother and my sister were very supportive. Since my sister who lives near my parents' house was also breastfeeding her daughter, she offered to help breastfeeding the babies, just to make sure that they didn't forget how to suck while any of them been separated with me in 5 days time. And Alhamdulilah, I managed to breastfeed both of them until they reached 2 years old. I owe a lot to my mother and my sister for their support.

During that time, some people in my office were talking about how could I separate the twins and only take one back with me. Although I kept explaining that I alternated both babies, somehow they got the idea that I only favoured one baby. Eventually, I just ignored those unpleasant remarks, bearing in mind "people can talk whatever they want, but it is us who have to bear the problem".

In the meantime we were confident with Kak K caring for our babies. When the twins entered their fifth month, I asked her whether she would want to care for both of them as I wanted to bring them to KL permanently. Commuting every weekend from KL to TM was very exhausting. And during working days, I kept missing the one I left in my hometown.

Dead Babies

I just want to share an article that I copied from someone's note in the Facebook. It's written by Kevin Barrett who is a former professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. For the past several years he worked to get the truth about the events of Sept. 11, 2001 to the American people. He is a former radio host as well.

"Dead babies can take care of themselves. Dead babies can't take things off the shelves." — Alice Cooper, "Dead Babies"

For two weeks now I have been spending a lot of time watching dead babies on television.

Dead children, too. And dead women. And dead old men. And dead young men.And bleeding, maimed, mutilated, screaming people of all ages and both sexes.Disfigured women lying in pools of blood. Children with part of their faces missing.

Crowds of horrified people gathered around, trying to help.

Naturally this has made me angry, and sad. Sometimes I have to turn off the television to pray and meditate to regain my emotional equilibrium.

Horrific as the images have been, none of them really got to me until this morning, when I turned on the TV and saw a very cute, very dead girl-baby lying arms akimbo on the street like a discarded doll, a puddle of blood at her feet about the size of a manhole cover.

Her too-perfect features were frozen in what could have been bliss, or terror. I finally broke down and cried. Big shuddering sobs.

You're not allowed to see what I've been watching.

The zionist-controlled U.S. corporate media won't let you. Lucky you.

I've been following the carnage in Gaza on Al-Alam, the Iranian Arabic-language satellite channel. (Yes, I speak Arabic; I used to teach it at the University of Wisconsin before I was blacklisted for telling the truth about 9/11.)

What's going on in Gaza now — what's been going on in Palestine for 60 years — is genocide. European settlers there have been using mass murder to ethnic-cleanse the indigenous population.

Genocide. End of story.

Yes, I know about that bullshit you've been reading in the Zionist-controlled corporate and "alternative" media.

The genocide perpetrators are supposedly "defending themselves."

Yeah, right.

Just like the Nazis had to defend themselves against the Warsaw ghetto uprising.

What's going on is a war of extermination against the Palestinian population.

The Palestinians, who do not wish to be exterminated, are fighting back with every weapon at their disposal.

Like rocks. And bottle-rockets. Not much to throw against the latest U.S. taxpayer-supplied Zionist tanks and bombers and helicopter gunships and white phosphorus.

But sometimes courage and morality can triumph over sheer military power.

As of this writing, after years of starving the Gazans with a genocidal blockade, followed by two weeks of murderous bombing, the Zionist cowards are still unable to enter Gaza on the ground.

They've tried several times, and every time, Hamas fighters have sent them scurrying back to the safety.

To put it bluntly, David is kicking Goliath's ass. Just like in Lebanon.

So the Zionists, too cowardly to actually fight, content themselves with raining bombs down on the heads of women and children and old folks.

So those of us with access to uncensored media get to see lots of dead babies.

Don't tell me "Oh, they didn't really want to kill all those babies, that was just collateral damage.

"It isn't polite to say this, because for centuries adherents of the Jewish religion have been slandered as baby killers, but the truth of the matter is, THE ZIONISTS INTENTIONALLY SLAUGHTER PALESTINIAN CHILDREN AS A MATTER OF OFFICIAL POLICY.

Don't believe me?

Chris Hedges, one of our nation’s most respected journalists, wrote in Harper’s magazine (October 2001) that he had been in several war zones, but he had never seen soldiers luring children within range of their guns, then gut-shooting them for sport, until he saw Israeli soldiers doing it in the Occupied Territories.

Unfortunately what Hedges witnessed was not anomalous, but part of a larger Israeli policy of targeting children.

An article in the British Medical Journal (10/16/04) concluded: “Two thirds of the 621 children (two thirds under 15 years) killed at checkpoints, in the street, on the way to school, in their homes, died from small arms fire, directed in over half of cases to the head, neck and chest — the sniper's wound.

Clearly, soldiers are routinely authorised to shoot to kill children in situations of minimal or no threat.”

Why are the taxpayers of the United States of America handing the Zionist cowards billions of dollars worth of weapons for killing children? Why is the U.S. taxpayer paying for the Palestinian genocide?

Israel is not even a U.S. ally!

According to former C.I.A. official Ray McGovern, the U.S. has asked Israel to sign a formal treaty of alliance, but Israel refuses, because it would have to define its borders. Since it is conducting an ever-expanding genocide, in order to steal more and more land, Israel does not want to say where its borders are. So it refuses to be a U.S. ally.

According to reliable estimates, our non-ally Israel has cost the American people more than a trillion dollars, including more than $100 billion in direct aid.

And that's not even counting the war in Iraq, which is a disguised war for Israel. Throw in Iraq, and the Zionists have stolen maybe five trillion dollars from our economy.

What do we get in return? The undying hatred of most of the world's population, including virtually everybody in virtually every country that supplies our oil.

Murderous false-flag attacks, from the Lavon Affair to the U.S.S. Liberty massacre to 9/11.

A corporate media whose lies about Palestine expand and expand until pretty soon they're lying about everything, all the time, 24/7.

And yet U.S. leaders are almost unanimous in cheering for the Zionist genocide.

Why?

To hell with political correctness. I'll give you the straight answer — the answer that I've heard from virtually every intellectual I've spoken to during my years living outside the USA in places like France, Morocco, and Central America, where free speech still exists: "Because Zionist Jews, and to a lesser extent their Zionist Christian accomplices, control the U.S. media, the Anglo-American financial sector, and almost all American politicians."

The American dream is dead.

The United States of America, like Palestine, is now Israeli-occupied territory.

As James Petras told me on my radio show, the U.S.A. needs a national liberation movement to free itself from its Zionist occupiers.

When the chickens come home to roost, and the U.S. economy and the empire it pays for finally crashes for good — bled dry by its Zionist-instigated, Zionist-controlled war on Islam — maybe that national liberation movement will finally arise.

But I'm not sticking around to find out. I've had enough of living under Israeli occupation.

I will be leaving the former United States of America in the near future, and as long as it remains occupied by the Zionist child-killers, I won't be coming back.

Postscript:Mike: Are you really leaving?Kevin: Yes, i'm heading for Morocco — wife and kids are already there, i'm finishing up the logisticsWe're going to try to get a place big enough to have guests, along with a nonprofit-run "come to Morocco and learn about Sufism" thing, so yes, please visit.

Mari berdoa untuk Palestin

Picture from Citrasupply's Weblog

Rasanya semua orang sedar tentang kekejaman Israel terhadap Palestin. Kononnya atas dasar mempertahankan diri, maka Palestin diserang habis-habisan. Hinggakan anak2 kecil yg tak berdosa turut dibunuh. Yang paling menyedihkan, kuasa-kuasa besar dunia hanya mendiamkan diri.

Aku sendiri x banyak boleh membantu dalam situasi sebegini tapi memetik dr blog Ustaz Zaharuddin " Menulis ; Tulislah di blog, web, forum anda, ruangan akhbar, majalah yahoogroup dan lainnya, buatkanlah kajian ringkas dan permudahkan penyampaian info kepada orang ramai berkenaan kezaliman Yahudi terhadap Palestin dan sekutu-sekutu mereka. " maka aku pun ingin turut sama cuba menyampaikan maklumat. Mungkin tiada kajian ringkas tentang situasi di Palestine tapi aku letakkan satu link blog yg ditulis oleh seorang rakyat Palestine....From Gaza with Love. Sangat mengharukan......

Terbaru hari ni aku dpt message di Yahoo Messenger yg berbunyi begini:

salam, malam ini palestin akn di bom habis oleh yahudi termasuk masjid al-aqsa. ini benar ikhwam palestin yg menalipon ikhwan m'sia. kt diwajibkn membaca surah yunus 85-88 n al fath 26-27..tolong fowardkan.. ALLAHUAKBAR!!! dolphine cha's: Pimpinan Hizbullah, libanon sydHasanNasrallah meminta Seluruh msulim utk MELAFADZKAN QS. AL-FATH ayat 26-27. MALAM INI.. tolong disebarkan agar Israel hancur. skrg masjid Al Aqsa Sdg diserang oleh IsraelSkutu. buat pertama kalinya roket yg dilancarkan oleh pejuang hamas sampai shngga 50km ke israel dan askar israel yg mati tlh melebihi 50 orang setakat ni- askar israel telah menggunakan semua senjata yg mereka miliki dlm memerangi pejuang-pejuang palestin.Mhn disebarkan

Dan juga mari kita bersama2 bacakan doa Qunut Nazilah (sila rujuk disini)

Aku harap kita sesama Muslim dapat bersama2 membantu rakyat Palestin mengharungi kekejaman Israel ini.

Meine Wohnung (My Apartment)

This entry is like an assignment to me. Only because I had promised certain people that I would write about the apartment I'm currently living. My family in Malaysia are curious to know how my apartment looks like; so here it is.

View of An der Lache : our apartment is in the second floorView from our apartment entrance: the staircase

Living hall

Kitchen

Toilet

Our bedroom

Children's bedroom

Balcony

Trip to Siegen/Aachen

Last weekend, my family and our friends; Liza and Razif made a trip to the north. The destinations were Siegen and Aachen. After so much of considerations, we had decided to rent a car instead of taking train. Though someone said it is a waste and so risky to drive during winter; with icy road and unpredictable weather, we just tawakal. However, we took all the precautions and safety aspects and prayed a lot that we would have a safe journey.

First time cik HB drove in Germany's Autobahn

Germany's Autobahn

Kembar yg asik minum susu

Our first destionation was Siegen, a town located about 130km from Frankfurt. It's the home of Malaysian students; husband and wife - Didie n Nazrin and their cute girl, Ainaa, another couple - Dhyla and Md. Nor and the most eligible bachelor - Rusdy. We stayed for one night there, the guys had so much fun playing WII and I had fun watching several movies. Their house is like an entertainment centre, with big projector, WII (with so many games downloaded!!!) and USB multimedia (also downloaded with so many movies!!!).

Me and Dhyla (in Siegen). Photo courtesy of Liza. The only photo snapped while we were there. X tau la nape x sempat amik gambar...huhuhu

We were supposed to leave Siegen early the next day as we wanted to reach Aachen by mid day. But with the makan2 and lepak2, and another round of WII with the Siegen clan, we only managed to leave their house by 2pm. Tapi sempat jugak singgah Ikea Siegen sbb terpengaruh ngan saiznya yg nampak sgt besar. Banyak juga brg kami beli, nasib baik muat kereta. But unfortunately due to time constraint, we didn't have the opportunity to do sightseeing in Siegen.

We arrived in Aachen after dark. The Aachen clan had been waiting for us with the dinner already served. In Aachen, the Malaysian students community is quite big so sgt la meriah. Cik HB actually had applied to study here but it's not his rezeki to get enrolled here.

With Hatta and his family

With part of Aachen clan

Next day we went to see another friend who had just delivered her baby before Christmast. I found Aachen was much colder than my place; waiting for the bus to come in the open area was very torturing. The cold made my toes and fingers so painful.

Masa tunggu bas....

After the baby-visit, we ate at Sultan's Kebab and by the time we finished eating, it was already dark and colder so we couldn't go around Aachen Stadt for sightseeing. Besides, we need to go back to Frankfurt on the same day so we didn't to travel so late.

Makan di Sultan's Kebab. Quite an experience.....

Since Aachen is located at the border of Holland and Belgium, we are thinking to go there again. Probably during spring, to see the famous Holland's tulips. And Aachen itself is a historical town, with many monuments to see.

I want to see this....

Alhamdullilah, we had safely arrived in Raunheim/Ruesselheim at 9pm. It was snowing by the time we arrived and when I watched TV the next day, apparently at some places the road was jammed due to the snow and several accidents were reported. Syukur that we didn't have any problems throughout the journey and the twins also were well behaved. Apparently the extreme coldness that I experienced in Aachen was because there would be snowfall almost everywhere in Germany. No wonder it was so cold.

Serik la jugak berjalan time winter ni......

Contemplation

After 20 days of school breaks (tolak 2 ari sebenarnya sbb aku ponteng), I finally managed to bring myself to school today. It was very cold this morning, -14 degree Celcius so imagine how difficult it is to be outside. But then it's a commitment that I had promised myself. And now I'm thinking whether I should continue with this Deutsch course.

Points why I want to quit:

1) Cold weather. It is reported that the temperature will even go down till -20 deg. It's so freezing cold outside. Though I dressed in so many layers of clothes, it's still cold. At least for this week I don't have to bring the twins along because cik HB is still on holidays. But starting next week they would have to come with me. And how pity it is for them to be dragged in this cold weather. But then again, I have applied to enrol them in the kindergarten, which is for now we can't send them coz there's no place and we have to wait. So if they are accepted into the kindergarten, we still have to go out. So this is not acceptable.

2) I've already got the A1 certificate which is part of visa renewal requirement, so there is no need to go anymore.

But then again I can't bring myself to quit because I need to be fluent in Deutsch for the following reasons:

1) I want to be able to communicate with the locals especially when it comes to official things. Last time we had to bring someone who is fluent in Deutsch to foreign office for our visa renewal process. We can't communicate with our landlord; he doesn't speak English and we are bad in deutsch so we need a third party to communicate. It's so frustating situation.

2) I want to enjoy watching TV here. There are so many interesting programmes, latest hits TV series, Hollywood blockbuster movies but all are translated into Deutsch. So since I don't understand, even Desperate Housewives is on the air, I just lost the interest.

3) The twins will be going to kindergarten soon. So I want to be able to speak to their teachers and other mothers too.

Actually when I first joined this course, it was simply because I wanted to fulfill the visa requirement. When I came to this school, the principal (Lukas) said the class are already full; but he was willing to let me join on free trial basis. And I didn't mind because I thought I wouldn't stay long.

But then I found this course is interesting, and I want to stay eventhough at that time I already obtained my A1 certificate so I begged Lukas to let me stay. Lukas was reluctant at first because he said I have to pay if I want to stay and I said I would. Lukas allowed me to stay but he refused to accept payment in full (I don't know why he's so reluctant to receive money from me, probably because cik HB's status as a student). He said he probably would ask me to do some voluntary works at the center, either to help as babysitter or to do office works. Currently the babysitters and the clerks are all his students from afternoon and evening sessions.

And now after 2 months in this course, Lukas still has not asked any payment from me. So if I want to quit, what would I tell him? Especially when he's being so nice all this while......

Besides, going to the course has given me a chance to socialize with other people of different countries. And furthermore, eversince I quit my job and moved here, I find myself easily distressed over unnecessary thoughts so going to this course is actually an escape from those feelings.

Well, I think I should stay in this course for as long as I could.

Ich muss lernen Deutsch sprechen!!!!

It's Snow Time!

I just got back from weekend trip to Siegen and Aachen (will write the entry about it) and we arrived in Rauheim last night, it was snowing. But it wasn't so heavy.

Then this morning when I woke up and opened the window, it was white everywhere and soooo beautiful!

Actually this is not the first time it snows here. The first snow fall was in the end of November but it wasn't so heavy and it was so brief. We didn't even had the chance to play with the snow.

The twins so excited to see the snow so we dressed them up in their snow suit, gloves, snow cap and let them play with the snow on our house's balcony.

Dah mcm astronout budak berdua ni.....

Sgt ler rajin menyodok snow....

But then it took us an effort to coax them to stop playing and get into the house. I couldn't stand being outside for long time. It was so freezing cold.

After lunch we went out to buy groceries from the nearby supermarket and to let the twins with the snow for another round at the playground. Apparently a lot of other people came out too to enjoy the snow.

At the playground

Some people made snowman and some rode on the snow slide

These two who were so fascinated with the snow!

Again, it was so difficult to bring them home and they only agreed when I said that we will play again tomorrow. Hopefully the snow doesn't melt by tomorrow or it would be more snowfall in the following days.

Oh! How I love the snow but it is so freezing cold.....