Contemplation

After 20 days of school breaks (tolak 2 ari sebenarnya sbb aku ponteng), I finally managed to bring myself to school today. It was very cold this morning, -14 degree Celcius so imagine how difficult it is to be outside. But then it's a commitment that I had promised myself. And now I'm thinking whether I should continue with this Deutsch course.

Points why I want to quit:

1) Cold weather. It is reported that the temperature will even go down till -20 deg. It's so freezing cold outside. Though I dressed in so many layers of clothes, it's still cold. At least for this week I don't have to bring the twins along because cik HB is still on holidays. But starting next week they would have to come with me. And how pity it is for them to be dragged in this cold weather. But then again, I have applied to enrol them in the kindergarten, which is for now we can't send them coz there's no place and we have to wait. So if they are accepted into the kindergarten, we still have to go out. So this is not acceptable.

2) I've already got the A1 certificate which is part of visa renewal requirement, so there is no need to go anymore.

But then again I can't bring myself to quit because I need to be fluent in Deutsch for the following reasons:

1) I want to be able to communicate with the locals especially when it comes to official things. Last time we had to bring someone who is fluent in Deutsch to foreign office for our visa renewal process. We can't communicate with our landlord; he doesn't speak English and we are bad in deutsch so we need a third party to communicate. It's so frustating situation.

2) I want to enjoy watching TV here. There are so many interesting programmes, latest hits TV series, Hollywood blockbuster movies but all are translated into Deutsch. So since I don't understand, even Desperate Housewives is on the air, I just lost the interest.

3) The twins will be going to kindergarten soon. So I want to be able to speak to their teachers and other mothers too.

Actually when I first joined this course, it was simply because I wanted to fulfill the visa requirement. When I came to this school, the principal (Lukas) said the class are already full; but he was willing to let me join on free trial basis. And I didn't mind because I thought I wouldn't stay long.

But then I found this course is interesting, and I want to stay eventhough at that time I already obtained my A1 certificate so I begged Lukas to let me stay. Lukas was reluctant at first because he said I have to pay if I want to stay and I said I would. Lukas allowed me to stay but he refused to accept payment in full (I don't know why he's so reluctant to receive money from me, probably because cik HB's status as a student). He said he probably would ask me to do some voluntary works at the center, either to help as babysitter or to do office works. Currently the babysitters and the clerks are all his students from afternoon and evening sessions.

And now after 2 months in this course, Lukas still has not asked any payment from me. So if I want to quit, what would I tell him? Especially when he's being so nice all this while......

Besides, going to the course has given me a chance to socialize with other people of different countries. And furthermore, eversince I quit my job and moved here, I find myself easily distressed over unnecessary thoughts so going to this course is actually an escape from those feelings.

Well, I think I should stay in this course for as long as I could.

Ich muss lernen Deutsch sprechen!!!!