Sabtu Yg Malas

Aku rasa mcm dah penah come out ngan tajuk yg sama, cuma entry tu dlm English....

Asal Sabtu aje mesti malas....apahal?

Cik HB dah pegi airport pepagi buta, temankan si Mat menjemput seorg kenalan Malaysia yg baru tiba kat sini. Dan baru aje call ckp dia menyinggah ke Flohmarkt.....uwaaa....aku nak gi jugak!!!

Rumah sgt bersepah...si kembar main Plastesyn dan abis satu rumah penuh ngan doh2 yg melekat. Dan aku pulak dr tadi dok melekat kat laptop ni....huhuhu..mak yg malas!!

Esok plan nak buat small luncheon. One of the Rheimers ( a title we use for Malaysian who lives in Russelsheim/Raunheim) is going back to Malaysia for good next week. So this luncheon is like a farewell. And we are inviting the boys too...so there would be around 15 guests tomorrow.

I would have to go out to buy groceries kejap lagi. Tp cuaca sgt la mendungnya.....

Malasnya!!!!!

Embarrassed

Just now, my landlord's daughter who is six and lives downstairs came ringing my door. She said something which I could only grab about her father had said something and it's about light. And I concluded that must be about the staircase light that is not functioning and I asked her to confirm again and she told me again and I couldn't understand the whole thing and I concluded to her another thing and she was annoyed! She shouted "Nein!!!!'.

And she pushed my door and helped herself in into the living hall and switched off the balcony's light. Oh! Now I got it! She had been trying to tell me that my balcony's light was on and her father had noticed from downstairs. I didn't know, I can't see because I had the metal curtain shut. That's why my landlord sent her daughter up to inform me.

Hmmm....3 months in Deutsch course and I still cannot understand the simple information like that? That is embarassing.....

Songs from the 80's...how nostalgic.....

I was creating my MyPod Nano MP3 when I have realized that I don't know what songs should I add to my playlist. Yeah..there are so many songs to choose from but those songs are just the songs that you don't want to hear over and over again.

I listen to both English and Malay songs, but other than Leona Lewis - Better in Time, the rest of the latest hits just don't go along with me.

So I felt bored after listening once or twice.

Then suddenly I remember Roxette and searched for their songs. The moment I clicked to play 'It Must Have Been Loved'....oh! I just love it so much. And I still remember the full lyrics!

This song, if I'm not mistaken was the most famous hit in 1988. I was in Standard 4 at that time. But having an elder teenage sister at the time, I was used to listening to English songs. So whatever my elder sister was listening to, I would listen too though we were not so close. I remember she had this cut-and-paste log book where she kept all the lyrics and singers' photos. So when she was not at home, I would sneak into her room and read this log book (she always furious with me for sneaking into her room!)

That was also how I got my English improved.

Then there was this sweet Debbie Gibson.....the Britney Spears version of the 80's, I guess...only she was more sane and talented....hehehe

So I searched in Youtube and found this clip:

Isn't she just lovely?

Attending Talk

Last Friday, my Deutschcourse's institute had arranged for us to attend a talk in Ruesselheim's Rathaus (similar to Pejabat Daerah in Malaysia). The talk was held to provide information to the foreigners who live in Ruesselsheim, on the benefits provided by the governmet for the foreigners, the rules, so and so...

Photograpy session before moving to Rathaus

I was allowed to bring my twins along and so did some other mothers. At first I wanted to leave them at the nursery because I didn't think they would sit quietly during the talk. But since there were two mothers taking their kids along, it would be difficult to reason with the twins why I was not taking them too.

The kids who joined the talk: Nabihah, Nabilah, Kimi and Naomi

My coursemates waiting for the talk to begin

Inside the conference room

It was good to get the opportunity to listen to this talk. Although it was difficult to grab all the info (as it was presented in Deutsch), but I could understand a little bit. Here in Germany, a foreigner who wish to stay in a long period of time or permanently, is encouraged to learn Deutsch and the Bundesamt (Federal Office) will pay half of the amount for the Deutsch course fee. Anyway, since I'm here just for two years, I'm not entitled for this benefit.

I didn't manage to stay until the talk finished. After 30 minutes in the talk, the twins started being restless. And I was warned that, once the kids made noise, I need to go out from the conference room. So I left.

Lukas had given an assignment prior to this talk. We should be able to do it after listening to the talk. Guess I could be given an excuse for this!

Babysitter - Part 3

I don't deny that under Kak K's care, there were events of the twins jatuh-jatuh, but Kak K was transparent about it. If they fell, she would tell us when we came to fecth them and apologized profusely. And I accepted that because honestly even under my care, the twins fell too. It's hard to ensure that a baby in the progress of growing up doesn't fall down. But of course, we have to make sure that the falling doesn't bring harm to them.

There was once were very unhappy.....

When the twins were just over 1 year old, Kak K took another toddler under her care. The boy was about to reach 2 years old at that time. Apparently, the parents were not happy with the previous babysitter because they suspected the babysitter's son kept hitting the boy. And Kak K took the boy because the boy's grandmother who was Kak K's husband's friend pleaded.

And things were not the same for me after that because I used to have Kak K exclusively caring for my twins. Mornings usually I would stay at Kak K's house about half an hour to chat with Kak K while breastfeeding but then now with another parents there (they were also normally lingered around), I felt segan-segan.

And then, the parents would always buy junk food for the boy to bribe him to stay with Kak K. He was normally threw tantrum when arrived at Kak K's house. The mother said he was probably traumatised because what had happened before. So the parents would buy him so much of junk foods to quiet him down. The problem here, when my twins saw those foods, they would want them too while I, on the other hand had tried hard enough avoiding junk food. It was also brought problem to Kak K because the twins and the boy were always fighting.

Then one day when we came to pick them up, we were surpised to see that one twin had so many scratchs on her face and the other twin had cut near her eyes. It was really a bad sight. Kak K cried while apolozing and explaining that the boy had first scratched one twin and when Kak K tended the scratched twin, he poked the other twin with something and hit near the eye. Kak K said she had taken the poked twin to the clinic (which right in front her house), and the doctor said everything was ok.

I gulped....I wanted to be angry but as Kak K cried, I didn't know what to say. Since I'm not the hot-tempered type, it saved me from saying anything bad. Seeing cik HB face also I knew he was angry too.

We were thinking : what if it was the eye that poked?

That night we were thinking about sending the twins to Kak K. I knew I couldn't really blame her, for things just happened the way it happened. But with the boy there, I was worried about my twins' safety.

The next day we still sent the twins to Kak K as we both couldn't take leave. And Kak K still apologized. It was sad to see her that way because she kept repeating she was worried we would no longer send the twins to her (which we had considered). She said she would rather give up the boy than loosing the twins.

The boy's parents also apologized to me that day.

Few days after that, the boy stopped coming to Kak K's house. And when I asked Kak K, she said the parents probably had hired maid. But I guess Kak K had mentioned to them that she didn't want to babysit the boy anymore.

So things back to normal.....

When the twins were 1 1/2 years old, cik HB got a job in Melaka and we had to move there. Cik HB said the only thing he regret about leaving KL is leaving a good babysitter like Kak K, and I agreed with that.

Even after we had moved, Kak K still called to ask about the twins from time to time. And when we have time, we would take the twins to visit her too. Kak K has the twins' framed photo (she took them to photo studio to be photographed!) inside her deco cabinet.

Before we came to Germany, we went to visit her and she was so happy to see the twins. Recently I called her and we talked a lot.

What I can conclude from this babysitter matter :

1. Not everybody is lucky to get a good babysitter, but if you have time and choices, check carefully on the babysitter's background or if possible get recommendation from the parents who have used the sitter's service.

2. Do spot check occasionally. Like coming to their house unannounced. But don't do it so often and obvious. They would be annoyed if you keep checking on them. It would ruin your relationship with the babysitter.

3. If you notice something amiss with the babysitter, don't hesitate to stop sending your baby to her.Quickly find another alternatives for childcare.

4. Provide complete baby's necessities to the babysitter. Don't expect they buy your baby's stuff from the money that you pay for their service. Unless if you are giving more and you ask for her help to buy, then it would be different matter.

5. If you are afraid that the babysitter would be calculative one day, try not to let her cook or wash clothes for your baby.

6. As an employee, apart from salary, we always expect that our employer would give us bonus or some gratification for the work that we have done, so same goes with babysitter. It may not be in terms of money, but you probably can give present or treat her with her family with nice dinner or something to show that you appreciate her taking care your baby.

Well, I don't know how is it going to be if I would go back working and have more children. Whether I would get a good babysitter next time or I would resorted having maid, I couldn't tell.

But what happened to Baby Zulaiqha is indeed a sad tragedy. To Zulaiqha parents, I hope you both are strong and redha with what happened. And may all the truth about her death will come to surface.

Babysitter - Part 2

Some people said if you really want to know whether the babysitter is taking good care of your baby, do spot check. I did that too at the beginning but I didn't make it so obvious. The good thing about my situation was that, my office was just a walking distant from Kak K's house. And since I was breastfeeding, during lunch hour I could go to her house. At first I didn't tell her my lunch hour time. But no matter what time I showed up, there was nothing wrong that would make me unhappy about her.

My sister-in-law (Kak N) had bad experience with her first babysitter who was also her neighbour in the opposite house. She wasn't really want to send her baby to her at first, but this neighbour had kept pestering her about how much she would want to babysit Kak N's baby (when she was still pregnant). So she thought why not.

One day, she came back early from work but she hadn't call that neighbour first. When she arrived at the neighbour's house she saw her baby (IN) was on the floor with no clothes on (he was about 4 months or so, baru pandai meniarap). And the neighbour's son was sleeping on the mattress belonged to IN. The neighbour, upon seeing Kak N, was shocked, quickly took IN into her arm and stammered that her son was not well, that was why he was sleeping on IN's mattress (without being asked!).

Kak N upset with what she had just seen, said nothing and took IN home. Then she called her mother to come to babysit IN for several days and later she sent IN to stay with her mother at her hometown. Not to make it so obvious, she told her neighbour that her mother wanted so much to care for IN so Kak N would no longer sending IN to her. In the meantime she went around looking for another babysitter and when she got one that she trusted (based on friends' recommendation) she moved from the housing area that she was currently staying. It was a drastic measure, yes....but she did it for her son. She could no longer believed the neighbour. The second babysitter turns out to be very good that all her five kids were cared by her. She and her family are like part of Kak N's family now.

Oh, I forgot to mention that not long after I've sent my baby to Kak K, I bumped into Kak G at our block entrance and she asked me who had been caring my babies and why didn't I send them to her. I really didn't know what to say, but I said I heard she had many children under her care, that was why I didn't ask her. She was disturbed and said that wasn't true, she always willing to care for my babies if I had asked her to. And she further said that how easier it would be for me if I sent them to her as we live in the same block. I said it was ok, it wasn't so difficult eventhough Kak K lived in several blocks away from mine. After that whenever I bumped into her (which turned out to be quite often, because the time I arrived home after fetching the babies was the time she came out for jogging!) , she would keep saying the same thing, as if she expected me to change my mind. So I tried to avoid bumping into her.

Back to Kak K, she managed quite wonderfully taking care for both twins. She didn't complain anything about them, instead she kept complimenting how good babies they were, didn't cry so much. She also did a lot of things in extra for us, like sewing the missing buttons on their clothes, buying toys and food but she didn't say anything. I found out accidentally. And from time to time she would buy clothes for them.

Anyway, I didn't take advantage on her kindness. I provided all the things needed by the twins and all the baby's stuffs that would make Kak K's job easy. I didn't count how many diapers used by the twins (some people do!!!). I left things like diapers, formula, toilettries, baby's foods at Kak N's, and she just have to tell me when things were out of stock or I would myself ask. I didn't allow her to wash the twins's clothes for I think that was not part of her job. When it was time for the twins to eat solid foods, I cooked myself the porridge eventhough Kak N offered to do it. For me, they are my babies, I should cook their foods although I had to get up so early. Besides if I do it myself, I could ensure the quality of the food.

Some of my colleague compared stories about their babysitters, some of them said they paid less that I did, yet their babysitter would wash their baby's clothes and cook the food. For me I didn't mind paying that much (RM500 for two babies, the Chineses are paying RM500 for one baby, mind you!) and I didn't mind the fact that Kak N didn't wash the clothes or cook the food for I think even with the amount that I was paying her still was not comparable with the works she had to do for my babies. Some people asked me, since I sent two, why wouldn't I asked for discount? Honestly, I don't think RM250 is expensive for babysitting, not because I could afford it but think about the works needed to be done. Ask all mothers: isn't taking care of one baby exhausting? Isn't cleaning up the poops dirty? Yes, it does!!! That, our own child. Imagine taking care other people's baby? Now, since I sent two, did I deserve to get discount? Did Kak K get to do less works with two babies? No.

In fact when the twins reached 1 year old, when I paid her the money, she returned some amount of the money to me, saying that she would accept lesser from that time. I said no, I would be paying the same amount as before (unless if she would want more) because cik HB and I were very satisfied with her service. Most importantly, we had peace in mind at work, knowing that our twins were under good care. She was also never give us any problems, never take day off from babysitting (my other collegues would have problems when school breaks come, because their babysitters would want to go for vacation or balik kampung thingy).

And then when the twins sick, which at the beginning I would take leave to take care them myself, and she had noticed, she insisted whenever they sick, don't hesitate to send them over to her. She told me don't waste my annual leave for the matter.

She was very loving towards the twins. If we were on holidays, like balik kampung for a week or something, and we didn't send them the day we should to her, she would be calling and asked where her two sweethearts.

Babysitter - Part 1

A friend of mine had forwarded a link of this blog. A sad story about the death of a baby.....under the hand of her babysitter. She was reported dead due pneumonia (sorry if I get this term wrong) to which later found to be incorrect and the actual reason is not known yet and the case is now under police's investigation. The babysitter is suspected hiding things on whatever had happened to the baby on the day of her death.

As I read the whole blog, it saddened me on the attitude of the babysitter (of course, the story is on one side only, we do not know what the babysitter would say about the tragedy and all the back dated stories of her babysitting the baby).

It reminds me how lucky I was to have a good babysitter for my twins when I stayed in KL.

The issue of child care for my babies had started bugging me while I was still pregnant. I had asked around about getting good babysitter, but until I've came into full term , I still couldn't get one. There were several babysitters in the list but these babysitters were already having several kids under their care. I had considered sending my babies to nursery but that was also not very good choice. We were also thinking of hiring maid.

There was this lady ( let's name her as K) who lived in the same block with me and she babysat children. Initially I was thinking to ask her to babysit my babies, but looking at her character (I know it is not right judging her by the way she dressed up, but I couldn't help it) , I just didn't feel like to. Besides, since I used to go home during lunch hour, I always heard she shouted to the children she cared for and the children always cried. So I decided not to. Luckily I'm not the talking type so I rarely talked to her. Once in a while when we bumped into each other, I only smiled to her.


By the end of my maternity leave, I still didn't have a solution for my twins's childcare. A week before I started working, I came back to KL with the hope that I would get a babysitter. Then, we received a visit from this elderly couple who live in my block and I mentioned about my situation and I said (since I was desperate) I was going to ask Kak G to babysit my twins. The couple gave us odd looks and said 'please don't do it first'. They said she already babysat many children so it's better to get someone else. The next day, the couple came back and recommended a lady (Kak K) who lived in another block to be my babysitter. He said he already called the lady and asked us to meet her.

And we did. But before that cik HB and I had discussed that we only send one baby first to see how things were and one baby would be sent back to my hometown, to be cared by my mother. The reasons were:

1) We didn't really know this babysitter, for one baby to be cared by her was already worrying enough, what with two babies. Call me fussy, but I've heard a lot of horrible stories when it comes to babysitters.

2) My hometown is just about 45 minutes drive from KL. We could go back everyweekend and switch the babies. So it wasn't that bad.

3) We too, were not confident enough that we would be able to care for both of them at home with no extra help. And with the nature of our job that required us to stay back sometimes, I was afraid that things would be

Kak K agreed to babysit my baby. And she wasn't even question why we only send one baby.

So we went on with the arrangement, one baby with us in KL for a week, and another baby with my mother. Friday evening, right after office hour, we would drive back to my hometown and by Sunday night brought the other baby back to KL.

It wasn't easy for us. Especially when I was still breastfeeding (but not exclusively) both of them. At first I wanted to wean them from breast feeding as I thought it will not possible to keep them breastfeeding with this arrangement. But my mother and my sister were very supportive. Since my sister who lives near my parents' house was also breastfeeding her daughter, she offered to help breastfeeding the babies, just to make sure that they didn't forget how to suck while any of them been separated with me in 5 days time. And Alhamdulilah, I managed to breastfeed both of them until they reached 2 years old. I owe a lot to my mother and my sister for their support.

During that time, some people in my office were talking about how could I separate the twins and only take one back with me. Although I kept explaining that I alternated both babies, somehow they got the idea that I only favoured one baby. Eventually, I just ignored those unpleasant remarks, bearing in mind "people can talk whatever they want, but it is us who have to bear the problem".

In the meantime we were confident with Kak K caring for our babies. When the twins entered their fifth month, I asked her whether she would want to care for both of them as I wanted to bring them to KL permanently. Commuting every weekend from KL to TM was very exhausting. And during working days, I kept missing the one I left in my hometown.