Sexual Harassment & Fidelity

I have to admit that working in a male-dominant environment is very uncomfortable. Especially if surrounded by those 'gatal' species.

Before I came to work at site, I didn't really notice any sexual harassment in my HQ. At least not in my department, coz the male colleagues were decent and nice. But I was kind of culture shocked in the first few months I've started working here coz sexual harassment are quite obvious.

Some guys here give remarks about your figure, talk openly about s*x or give hints with double meaning words, then laugh heartily on the subject discussed. According to the clerk, they used to discuss on the 18SX stuffs in front of her (before I came, she was the only female staff here), even tried to get her involved in the discussion. But she normally ignored them. It was very embarassing to hear what they were talking about. The worst case is the chinese boss himself.

When I first came, they also did it to me but being me, if I don't like, I just snapped at them sarcastically. Eventually they stopped talking 18SX to me or near me (garang kan aku...hahaha). My boss still talks 'dirty' on and off anyway. At one time he called my hp at 11.00 pm, I wasn't sleeping but I refused to answer his call (I never answer his call at odd hours, ok). Next day when he saw me, he said "why u didn't answer my call? were you making love?" in front of 2 others collegues...so rude, huh? Then , there was one time, I was riding with him in his car, surveying old pipes in the oil palm estate, he started telling me his stories with his numerous girlfriends and how he used to drive with them into the oil palm estate to make love. All I said "it's so immoral, isn't it?". He jumped and said "what immoral?" but he kept quiet after that. Anyway, I was scared when he was saying those things, who knows if he has any bad intention towards me...(aku kan kuat melawan dia....)...nauzubillah...

Yesterday, the clerk from another client's office came to my office. We went for lunch together and she revealed to me that she's being harassed by two male colleagues in her office. She's married with two children and the guys who harassed her also are married. When she's alone one of these two guys will come to her and harassed her by saying those flirting, seducing words. Sometimes even touch her hand or face. She told me that she asked another male colleague who is quite wise ( I also know this guy, he's decent and wise) why these men behave that way towards her cause she believes that she has not done anything that attract these guys. The wise guy suggested this lady to change the way she dresses up. Well, I have to admit that she's quite stylish (in comparison ngan aku yg datang keje pakai kemeja buruk, seluar jean n sandal Bata). She wears pants and nice blouses, high heels and puts make-up. Sometimes she wears kebaya and one time she wore kebaya nyonya, she really became the talk in the offices (BP and YP office). She told she disagrees that she should change the way she dresses up because that's the way she is and besides her husband always wants her to dress beautifully everytime even when she goes to work.

Besides her, there is also a female staff at the office, so I asked whether this lady being harassed or not. She said no because that lady is chubby and always wears baju kurung (in another word, not attractive enough la).

Hmmm.....for me, if she's working is the 'normal' working environment, it's up to her how she wants to dress up. But now that a guy had honestly pointed out the possible reason why she's being harassed, isn't it wise enough to change it at least just to see whether it'll make any different? Memang la seorg yg 'gatal' itu akan tetap 'gatal' walau pakai apa pon (remember the system analyst, Suzila brutally raped and murdered even though she wore tudung?) but if we could do something to make a different, why not try it out, right?

All I can say to her is be careful, and try to avoid these guys as hard as possible. I'm just afraid if these guys keep seducing her, she'll fall for them (although I pray that she won't). Don't we hear enough about scandals /affairs between married guys and married ladies, cause marital problems and eventually divorce?

I'm praying so hard that I will not be tested with this challenge...and so do my friends out there. Amin....